Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I still have a little drunk in my system
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
