A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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