Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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