Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
high people should be assigned attendants
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
