I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
