You can't special order awesome
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
