We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
