I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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