so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
