it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
