Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
