It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
