After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
