you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
