I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Sober January is a disaster.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
