i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
