Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
