She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
