Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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