idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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