I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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