I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
