Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
