I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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