Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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