I wish my penis had an off switch
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
