yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
