Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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