It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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