what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
