Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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