marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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