Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
