Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
