Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
