But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
