Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
