Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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