i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
