I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
