He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
