all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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