I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
