How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
