hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
