Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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