Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
My liver just had a heart attack.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
