i'm lost and i look like a hooker
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
We smell like vodka and hangover
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