apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize