i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize