He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
