so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
