i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
