She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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