You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
