Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
