Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
