We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
