apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I smell like Dick and happiness
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
