I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
